To Dear Mummies, Pregnant Ladies and Women planning to have babies in the future,
Why have I created YUM MUM TUM? Because I really needed it, I still need it and I know you need it too!
Over the last two years I have struggled endlessly with the new chapter of my life called ‘motherhood’. I once thought myself strong and fearless, very maternal, and wholeheartedly in touch with my natural instincts. How quickly that disappeared the second I noticed two little red lines appear on a pregnancy test I took as a joke. In that split second my life changed completely, I changed completely. I have never felt more scared, more foolish and more vulnerable in my whole life. ‘I have no idea what I’m doing!’ is a sentiment that started that fateful day and hasn’t stopped since.
My big, beautiful son is now 20 months old. Although I don’t regret my decision to have him, I do regret my time pregnant and it saddens me to think about the struggle I went through (still going through) trying to be his mum. Nurturing a newborn baby as he grows into a toddler has been the most challenging and ridiculously hard experience of my life. Where did my maternal, natural instincts go?
The most unbearable part for me was that I felt completely and utterly alone. Loving family and friends offering support surrounded me, but I still felt on my own. Google Search became my confidant and support for all things pregnancy and babies. I didn’t have any friends who were pregnant; I didn’t have anyone to confide in who was also experiencing the same stage of their lives. I knew some women having babies, but I was an acquaintance, on the periphery of their friendship group. I was also too stubborn and foolish to admit I needed other new mums to help and support me.
My lesson has been learnt. I realised I needed to reach out to other new mothers and I needed, not just one or two, but a whole tribe. As the saying goes ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ and nothing rings more true. But, and this is a big BUT… where the hell do I find a tribe of Mummers? How do I make close, trusting friendships with pregnant women and new mums when time is my enemy and a tired screaming baby keeps me house bound? For months I fretted and questioned ‘where do all the mums go’?
And so the journey to create YUM MUM TUM began. I started attending Hive Music Classes when my son was only three months old. I attended under the guise it was for his development, but really it was for me to find other mums to help me be a better mother. I soon realised that most of the mothers attending these group classes were there for the same reasons as me. They also needed other new mums to help and support them.
I then started noticing women with babies and young toddlers everywhere. What really grabbed my attention was the amount of women out on their own, seemingly doing nothing but getting out of the house with their bubs. They looked as tired and alone as I felt. They clearly needed a special place to go; a place to relax, to eat, to shop, but most importantly a place to meet other mums, to bond and connect. They clearly needed a tribe too.
I am creating YUM MUM TUM for myself, but also for all the other women and mums out there who need a tribe, who need a village, who need support at this amazing, yet daunting time in their lives. Although YUM MUM TUM will not be fully operational with a cafe, I will be organising special mother’s group events to start the momentum, I have created a growing directory of local practitioners just for your needs and I will also be based in a little maternity boutique in New Lambton.
Your feedback, opinions and questions will be my motivation and success.
Hope to meet you all soon!